Dipping the Pen in the Company Ink

I had just got out of a six-month relationship before I started bouncing and I had no intentions of getting locked up into another relationship. I had been working at the club for a full month before I met a girl named Lindsay. Lindsay was a captivating brunette with a sharp mind, a nurse no less, and five years my senior. She lived in my building and I noticed her from the start, yet our schedules never met.

It was not until a tenant meeting that one older woman asked me what I did for a living and I notified her that I worked as security at the local strip club. Lindsay instantly took an interest and the rest you say was history. I guess it just reinforces the fact that girls love bad boys. We would date on and off for the next six months.

The best pick-up line I ever used was cheesy, yet got the job done. There was a group of girls who came into the club and they looked to be around the age of 25+. The mischievous party of me asked for ID from just one of them. She turned out to be 32, yet I even got her to recite her address and date of birth. I handed her ID back to her and apologized for the confusions since I could of swore she was not a day over 19. She blushed, her friends laughed, and I purchased the girls a round of drinks. The girl I carded (Jessica) was ten years my senior. I ended up going home with her that night. I just love the older ladies I guess.

Now people constantly ask me, why didn’t I hit on any of the dancers and try to go home with them. I just simply answer, “After a full night of horny men pinching their Asses and drooling all over them, the last thing they need are security doing the exact same thing, don’t you think?

Well I guess Susan was the exception, but that will be for another time.

An Interview with Andrea

Friday night was my cousin’s birthday and to celebrate, we men went for dinner, then to the local sin bin for some local entertainment. After our third pitcher, I got thinking “shit, I haven’t updated my blog in over a week and I’m probably loosing readers every day” I needed something to write about. In my half buzzed stage, I realized that I was in a Strip Club and there was loads of material to be found.

By the fourth pitcher of beer, I made up my mind that I was going to spent $20 on the dancer I had been eying up all night. After the girl was finally free, I walked over to her and said, “Hi, I’m a writer and I want to spend $20 dollars on you, but I don’t want a dance. Can I buy you a drink?” The girl looked at me a little funny and she agreed to my proposal “I’ll have a white wine and 7up”. I went to the bar and ordered the drink. I returned and handed her the cocktail. “Okay, I write an online blog talking about the adult entertainment industry and my experiences as a strip club bouncer, and I just wanted to ask you a few questions pertaining to your profession and this club” The girl looked relieved and slash a friendly smile. The interview began.

I found out that the dancer’s stage name was Andrea, but her real name was Amy. She was 5’9 and 120lbs. Andrea was a local girl and had been working in this particular club for several months. Andrea notified me that this club had been the best club she had ever worked for. She had done her time in clubs in Montreal, Hull, Ottawa and Quebec City. I inquired about her earnings per night…. “Oh, I make about 200-800 hundred per night. It’s mostly 200-500 hundred, just one night last year I made $800 and that was nice” I inquired on how her night was going so far and she replied “It’s really slow, I’ve made maybe $100 and spent around $30 on drinks, so I don’t think I’ll make that much tonight”. The conversation progress to me complimenting her on her cute glasses, and asking her favorite style of music “I like to dance to stuff that’s energetic. I love 80’s tunes and old school hair metal”. I asked her feelings about her fellow co-workers and she said she didn’t mind most of the other girls. “Some can be really bitchy though, so I try to keep my distance” My final question was if she preferred thongs or the generic cotton panty and she laughed “I used to hate thongs, but I wear one for work all the time, so I got used to them” She flipped her skirt up in a playful manner to show off her purple thong “But when I’m at home, it’s always cotton”

I thanked Andrea for her time and flipped her my remaining $15. She smiled, called me a sweetie and kissed me on the cheek like I was some little boy handing her a daisy.

I returned to my table and polished off another pitcher with the guys.

The Off Season

On this specific evening, the club had been really slow. I came to work at 7pm and started my rounds. I checked the men’s washroom for bottles and glasses, checked the woman’s washroom to make sure the girls were not snorting too much coke. Made my way to the private booths and found them empty. Most of the girls were sitting at the bar, drowning their woes in a sea of Rum and Coke or Baby Duck.

I talked to Stephanie, the 40-year-old lifer who notified me that SHE couldn’t even get a customer to dance with her. Steph was a pro, a girl who knew the trade and knew how to make the big money, but if she couldn’t make things happen, it was a dead night for sure. “You can only whip a dead cock for so long”

The younger girls were moaning and groaning about the club being slow. The drinks were flowing and as the boredom progressed, the girls started to turn on eachother. A powder keg was about to be ignited. It took less than an hour before the bomb went off.

Bouncing at a strip club is much like teaching kindergarten. You have to deal with Sally pulling Amy’s hair, and telling Tracey to stop making faces at Megan. Girls can be extremely competitive, but nothing can compare to the competition between exotic dancers. “She stole my brush”, “She gave me a dirty look”, “That whore was talking to my boyfriend”, “That bitch stole my customer”, “That cunt called me a whore”, “That slut spilled my drink”…… “I’m gonna kill you bitch”

I broke up two fights that night. The customers where cheering the catfights on, with zeal. Every man loves a good catfight I guess. I only made $60 bucks that night.